“How do they do it? How do they make ends meet?” Have you ever asked yourself those questions? It’s easy to look around and compare, especially when it comes to living on one income. When I was working, I would often hear people say “I’d never be able to stay at home with my kids. We just can’t afford it.” And it got me thinking they were probably right. Most of us wouldn’t be able to afford it since we rely on two incomes to keep up with the lifestyle we live. And that’s fine! But, if you are seriously contemplating quitting your job to stay home with your family but just don’t know how to make it work financially, if you are wondering if you can make it on a single income, let me share with you how I did it.
Since work has always been a huge part of my life, I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I was just reflecting the other day how I’ve been working for over half of my life, which is no surprise growing up and working for the family business. But as I got older, my priorities started to change, and my own family began to grow.
As a working mom, there was this constant war within me. Do I stay, or do I go? Can I give up this identity I’ve held onto for so long? It wasn’t an easy decision, but looking back, it was the right decision for my family. Ultimately, I chose to leave the workforce and dedicate these short years to my little family, a sacrifice I’ve heard time and time again is so worth it. And now that I’m fully in this season of life, I would have to agree.
But financially speaking, how do we do it? How can a family still thrive by relying on just one income?
Does the math add up? There are a lot of factors at play here, but logically the first thing to do is the math. If your family has no idea where the money goes each month, sit down and figure out your budget. Base your budget off which income is staying and eliminate the other. List all your expenses, debts, saving and giving and subtract it from your single source of income. Does the math come out? For most of us, it probably doesn’t. This is where I was at before I made the choice to stay home.
Time to get frugal. Do you want to know what I did? I decided that sacrificing my job to be with my kids was greater than sacrificing the lifestyle I wanted to live. Those “extras” we could afford while living somewhat comfortably had to go. In essence, they were keeping us from making the switch, and I knew something had to change. In order for this to actually work, I knew I’d have to start making some small, but drastic changes.
And that’s exactly what I did.
I cancelled everything from Amazon prime to unlimited internet, switched cell phone carriers, health insurance, life insurance and car insurance companies. I took a close look at our grocery bill and started couponing and utilizing fuel rewards to lower our gas expense. I called and asked if it was possible to lower my bill for our trash pick-up, which it was and they did. I stopped making unnecessary purchases unless it was a need, and even so, I would buy used more often than not.
If it sounds extreme, it’s because it is. Put simply, if the income was gone, so was the spending. Every dollar had to stretch like never before. I started saving money like it was my job. Because now, it partially was. My focus shifted. My priorities changed. My decisions were no longer based on my selfish ambition and the lifestyle I wanted to maintain; they were about my family. These adjustments forced me to get creative and pay attention. I knew I had always had the knack for being frugal, but now it took on a whole new meaning.
The struggle is definitely real. Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been easy. It’s been a solid two years of nothing luxurious. Two years of almost exclusively shopping at thrift stores, passing up new products, and fun splurges. A lot of sacrifices have been made, but that’s what needed to happen.
Restraint is hard. Like, really hard. I think that’s why many of us struggle to show restraint, or deny ourselves of luxurious living. It’s especially hard because at times, I find myself accidentally comparing myself to others who travel, get their nails done and buy nice, new things, and I have to stop myself from thinking, “why can’t that be me?” Because it can! Someday; just not today.
When I drift into this mindset, I remind myself this stage of life is only temporary. My state of mind is understanding this is a season, a training ground for contentment. My life is not glamorous by any stretch, and that’s okay with me. I know it won’t last forever.
So yes, we make a lot of sacrifices living as a single income family. And financially, we are moving at a slower pace than I would like. However, I firmly believe there’ll come a time when those sacrifices will pay off and it’ll all be worth it. The definition may have changed, but we are still thriving and learning to be content in the process.